My Girlfriend's a Geek, Volume 2 Read online

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  This blog is a record of battle as dictated by a man with a fujoshi girlfriend.

  Okay, that was a lie. I’m not fighting at all.

  The war is purely one-sided. Each day I am dragged farther and farther into the world of otaku.

  I cannot be held responsible for any damages incurred by reading this blog and falling into the same predicament.

  There is much otaku talk contained within, so please follow your directions carefully and do not exceed your recommended dosage.

  Looking Back… Part 2.

  2006/12/07 20:20

  Autumn, several years ago.

  An acquaintance of mine showed me a place that was hiring for a part-time job—where I met my girlfriend, Y-ko.

  She had shown she was competent enough to take on a lot of work despite being so young.

  Since we were relatively close in age and often spent time working together, it didn’t take much time at all for us to grow friendly…

  Soon we were going out to eat after work and making shopping trips together on our days off.

  It didn’t develop into anything more than a friendship between the boss and the part-timer until one late, moonlit night, when we were trudging home after working overtime.

  Y-KO: Look at that! What a beautiful moon.

  ME: It sure is…

  Err, Y-ko?

  Y-KO: Hmm? What?

  ME: May I hold your hand?

  Y-KO: Huh? My hand?

  She stared at the hand I was offering, frozen.

  Well, that makes sense.

  We’d been friendly, but certainly not holding-hands friendly.

  ME: Yes, your hand. May I?

  Y-KO: … All right.

  I grabbed the hand she reluctantly held out, entwining her fingers one by one.

  My palm was damp with nervous sweat.

  Y-KO: … This makes me feel nervous.

  ME: Me, too.

  Y-KO: Do you like holding hands?

  ME: Yes, I do.

  Y-KO: I see.

  ME: But more than that…

  Here, I stopped both my sentence and my gait.

  An instant later, she stopped walking as well.

  She turned around, looking up at me with her head tilted.

  Our eyes met.

  Y-KO: … Yes?

  ME: … I like you.

  Y-KO: … Huh?

  ME: May I kiss you?

  My empty left hand traced her cheek.

  She closed her eyes.

  Several moments later, after our lips broke contact, we looked into each other’s eyes again.

  Y-KO: … I just want to tell you one thing first.

  ME: …… What is it?

  Y-KO: I’m an otaku. Is that okay with you?

  ME: … Huh?

  Y-KO: … Actually, in my case,

  I’m what’s known as a fujoshi… so… are you weirded out?

  ME: Uh, no. I’m just surprised. I would never have thought you were…

  Y-KO: Well, I keep it a secret from other people…

  ME: … So, what about it?

  Y-KO: Huh?

  ME: What’s the connection between me liking you, and the fact that you’re an otaku or a fujoshi or whatever?

  Y-KO: Um…

  ME: I like you a lot, and it has nothing to do with what you call yourself.

  And it was true.

  It didn’t matter to me whether she was an otaku or not.

  Y-KO: … Um, thanks.

  ME: Would you be my girlfriend?

  Y-KO: ……… Sure. I’d love to.

  And as she said this, she smiled shyly.

  But at the time, I had no idea what she meant by the word fujoshi.

  And that’s where we left off in the previous volume.

  But there is more to this tale…

  ME: By the way, Y-ko…

  Y-KO: What is it, boyfriend?

  You don’t have to refer to me as “boyfriend.”

  It’s a bit embarrassing… but that’s not my point.

  ME: You mentioned the word, uh, fujoshi earlier. What is that?

  Y-KO: …… Pardon?

  ME: I mean, I don’t really understand what fujoshi means…

  Y-KO: …… Pardon?

  She froze.

  Y-KO: …… What? Hang on a moment.

  You mean you said it was okay without knowing what fujoshi meant?

  ME: Well, er, yes…

  Y-KO: You idiot!

  How many times have I told you at work to ask right on the spot if there’s anything you don’t understand?! Why would you approve something like that without understanding what it means?!

  ME: …?! I… I’m sorry.

  Y-KO: Well, you can’t turn back now and say, “Sorry, it doesn’t count now.” Got that?!

  I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that she is mad!

  But if I was the one who asked her out, why is the issue here about my approval?

  Plus.

  ME: … Look, it’s not like I care so little about you that this fujoshi whatever is going to change my mind.

  Y-KO: Well… thank you.

  ME: No problem. Now, since I don’t know, I will ask.

  What is a fujoshi?

  Y-KO: … Err, well…

  She fudged her speech and clearly averted her eyes from mine.

  … Well, this is obviously not going to make the issue any easier!

  ME: Is this fujoshi thing really that big of a deal?

  Y-KO: … Don’t freak out when you hear it, okay?

  ME: I won’t freak out, and of course, I won’t hate you for it. I promise.

  Y-KO: ……

  ME: ……

  Y-KO: … Well, a fujoshi is—

  … a fujoshi is?

  Y-KO: —a girl who enjoys romance between a boy and another boy.

  ……

  A girl who enjoys romance between a boy and another boy.

  ……… Come again?

  ME: …… A boy and another boy?

  Y-KO: … You’re looking like you don’t get it.

  ME: Huh? Oh, sorry.

  Y-KO: Okay, it basically means I like BL—boy’s love.

  ME: … So you’re saying you like gay guys?

  Y-KO: Oh, go ahead, be blunt about it! It’s not really exactly the same thing…

  But I guess that would be the simple way of describing it.

  ME: ……… So, er, you’re saying it’s not that you like gay characters?

  Y-KO: That’s not exactly it. Here’s an example: Kira and Athrun.

  Traditionally, Kira is paired with Lacus and Athrun with Cagalli, but in my case, Kira and Athrun are a couple.

  That would be labeled Kira × Ath.

  … You see? I like this sort of BL manga and whatnot.

  * Kira Yamato ( Earth Alliance) × Lacus Clyne ( ZAFT), Athrun Zala ( ZAFT) × Cagalli Yula Athha ( Orb Union) are the primary pairings.

  In Y-ko’s case, it is Kira () × Athrun ().

  From Mobile Suit Gundam SEED.

  …… Sigh.

  I think I understand, but I also think I don’t.

  ME: … Uh, hang on… Kira × Ath?

  Those
two get paired together…?

  Y-KO: … Look, don’t think too hard about it, okay?

  It’s not really all that serious of a topic…

  As long as you understand that I like that sort of stuff, that’s all you need to know.

  ME: Oh… I see… Okay, got it.

  Y-KO: So… are you weirded out? Are you okay?

  ME: … Huh? Yeah, I think I’m fine.

  So, you’re saying that it’s not like you prefer someone whose profile I don’t match?

  Y-KO: Huh? Well, yeah.

  ME: Well, then there’s no problem.

  Whew! That’s great.

  I don’t know what I’d do if she suddenly told me I wasn’t right for her.

  Y-KO: …… Are you sure you want me?

  ME: Of course. What did I just say?

  I love you, and it has nothing to do with being an otaku or fujoshi.

  Y-KO: … Okay. Thanks.

  I… I love you, too.

  And so,

  on an autumn night, beneath a beautiful moon…

  our relationship became that of boyfriend and girlfriend, and she became…

  my geeky girlfriend.

  My Girlfriend’s a Geek, Part 2.

  2006/12/08 20:00

  My girlfriend is a fujoshi.

  I’m sure that many of you have never heard this word before and don’t know what it means.

  It’s difficult to convey just what a fujoshi is with a simple explanation, so I’m going to avoid laying out a thorough and precise definition…

  In my girlfriend’s case, she loves anime and manga and knows a lot about them.

  In that way, I guess you could say she’s an otaku.

  Plus.

  This is a big part of what makes a fujoshi…

  * Roy × Ed: A pairing involving two characters from Hagaren, or Fullmetal Alchemist— the protagonist, Edward Elric (), and the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang ().

  … Just like this.

  A fujoshi obsesses over romance between a male character and another male character.

  This blog, “My Girlfriend’s a Geek Part 2,” follows my everyday life with just such a girlfriend.

  Now, then.

  It’s been a little over two years since I began my relationship with this fujoshi.

  When we first started going out, it was like this.

  Y-KO: Hey, read this!

  ME: …? What is it?

  Y-KO: I recommend this manga. It’s great.

  ME: Okay. Let’s see… Wha—?!

  Is it just me, or does this seem a bit sexual?

  Y-KO: By the way—

  ME: … Huh?

  Y-KO: In the later parts, it’s completely sexual.

  ME: … What?!

  Y-KO: Aha-ha-ha! Your face is all red.

  ME: Wha—! N-no, it’s not!

  Y-KO: So, spill the beans. What were you just imagining?

  ME: Oh, shut up!!

  ……

  As you can see, I was constantly on the losing side.

  But these days, now that we’ve been together for two years…

  Y-KO: Hey, the new volume of Nana is out.

  ME: Oh, cool.

  Y-KO: This one will fulfill all your expectations for sexiness.

  ME: That’s not really what I expect out of it, but whatever…

  Funny how shjo manga seems to have more sex than Shnen manga…

  Y-KO: I think you’re right.

  ME: Well, I am interested in seeing what happens next, and I’m old enough not to make a big deal out of a little eroticism.

  Y-KO: Oh yeah? But BL is a lot sexier.

  —BL (Boy’s Love) books.

  Where male characters fall in love with each other.

  By the way, many of the publications Y-ko owns are not for minors.

  ME: … Yes, I suppose so.

  They probably earn that eighteen-and-up rating.

  … But so what if your BL stuff is sexy? What’s your point, Y-ko?

  Y-KO: Wanna see? You’re a guy, and guys like sex, right?

  Here, I recommend this one! Go on, take a look!

  I looked at the BL book thrust into my face.

  On the cover, I already saw two men clinging to each other and looking at me.

  Dammit, don’t look at me like that.

  ME: Y-ko…

  Y-KO: Hmm? What is it, Sebas?

  ME: … If I start reading that book now, I won’t be able to prepare dinner.

  Oh, unless you wanted instant noodles tonight?

  Y-KO: ……… !!

  Yes.

  For the most part, breakfast and dinner are my responsibility.

  This isn’t necessarily because I’m a good cook.

  It’s because she’s a working woman and I’m still a student, and over time this simply became our common practice.

  ME: ……

  Y-KO: …… In-instant noodles…

  ME: Oh, and we don’t have any at home, so you’ll have to go out and buy some.

  Y-KO: Ugh………!!

  ME: ……

  Y-KO: …… Please prepare our supper.

  ME: Understood, madam.

  A nice, clean escape.

  … In a case like this, if I answer truthfully with

  “I’m only interested in girls doing sexy things!

  I don’t care about guys doing them!”

  Y-ko responds with

  “Oh well, if they turn into women, you’re okay with it?!

  In fact, I’m guessing you’d be okay as long as they look like women, right?!

  I’ve got some of those! Here, look at this!!

  From a distance, this person looks just like a girl (only with the usual package attached)!!

  Go on, read it!!”

  … And then the argument is all but lost (speaking from experience).

  * Turn into women: A fictional situation in which a man’s body suddenly turns female. How strange!

  Through this event, where one member becomes a woman, the usual gay “uke x seme” dynamic turns into a traditional heterosexual relationship.

  As you might guess,

  I’ve learned to shoot for an easy escape most of the time.

  … There’s no way to win when you face Y-ko head-on.

  Of course, after two years of undergoing this hazing, a guy manages to pick up a trick or two to combat it.

  Y-KO: Damn!

  Give me back the younger, sweeter you!!

  ME: Sorry, Y-ko…

  But you are totally stealing my line.

  You’re the one who made me that way.

  … Not that I particularly regret it.

  Bookshelves.

  2006/12/10 14:25

  It was two years ago that I met Y-ko.

  She was my boss at the job I was working at the time.

  I was a student, and I had no idea what I was doing.

  In order to learn how to do my job properly,

  I had no choice but to speak with her regularly in the workplace.

  After a time, we ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.

  It turned out she was a fujoshi.

  Not only that, but a hidden fujoshi, one who didn’t show any inkling of her nature around other people…

  But as a general rule, she never hides this around me.

  In fact…

  It seems more like she’s intent on dragging me down that path with her.

  … And I’ll be honest.

  It’s slowly but surely seeping into me.

  This story is from a day when she came to visit me at my house.

  At my house.

  Y-ko stares intently at my bookshelf.

  ME: … What are you looking at?

  Y-KO: Hmm? Oh, I was just checking to see if My Girlfriend’s a Geek is really in here.

  ME: … Didn’t I tell you I would put it on my shelf?

  Y-KO: Yeah. Well, at least you’re a bit more otaku-ish now.

  Of course, you’ve got a long wa
y to go.

  ME: … Long way to go?

  Y-KO: I mean, come on.

  Shouldn’t a normal college student’s bookshelf have way more manga on it?

  ME: That’s quite a weird stereotype to hold…

  Y-KO: Where’s the Strawberry 100% and the Love Hina and the Negima?

  ME: That’s ridiculous! Where do you get these ideas?

  Those are all manga that have a ton of girls in them!

  If you were going to imagine a college student’s bookshelf packed full of manga, at least throw out some titles like Dragon Ball or Slam Dunk!

  Y-KO: And all these novels… Haruki Murakami and Takayoshi Honda.

  I know they’re good and all… but don’t you have anything a bit studentlike?

  ME: Well, I do have Twelve Kingdoms… and Angel’s Egg. They made a movie out of that.

  Y-KO: That’s not what I mean! I’m saying, throw some light novels in there!

  The kind of stuff I can read when you’re too busy cooking to pay attention to me!

  Light novels…? Oh, those young adult novels.

  True, Y-ko strikes me as more of a NisiOisin person than Yuka Murayama.

  And come on, Y-ko.

  ME: … And there’s no option for helping me cook…?

  Y-KO: How can I? Your kitchen’s too small.

  ME: Okay, good point…

  So, you would help if it was bigger?

  Then why am I always the only one cooking at your place, too?!

  … Of course, being a student, I’ve got a lot more free time to spend cooking than Y-ko.

  Y-KO: I mean, like the Haruhi Suzumiya series.

  I want you to get light novels that I would like.

  ME: Oh, I was thinking of buying that. It sounds like it’s a huge hit.

  Y-KO: Really?!

  ME: Yes, I actually went to the bookstore to buy it.

  Y-KO: So did you buy it!? I… I don’t see it on your shelf.

  ME: The first volume was sold out, so I couldn’t.

  So I bought a different book instead.

  Haruhi sure is popular.

  It makes me jealous.